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I addressed my problems through counseling, medication, physical therapy, and even surgery.My problevms are not 100 percent fixed, and we don't have sex as often as either of us would like, but when we have it, it's worlds better than when we started out.When I met my wife, our sex life was okay—but I was never fully present, because I would have to concentrate on my fantasies in order to sustain an erection. My wife knew I was masturbating in the middle of the night instead of having sex with her, and that led to some enormous fights.So I told her about my kink, fully expecting that it would result in the collapse of my marriage.

I did allow for the possibility that my sample was skewed; people with good sex lives don't write to tell me everything's fine.To the surprise of no one who has ever given sex advice for a living, the sex didn't get better after IMDONE and her boyfriend got married."Here's something I've never seen in my inbox: a letter from someone explaining how sex with their partner was infrequent, impersonal, uninspired, unimaginative, etc. Don't miss an opportunity of having free journey through good mature sex!In a recent column, you said you never hear from married couples whose sex life got better and more frequent over the years. My wife and I were married 24 years ago, and we are currently having more sex and better sex than we did in the first years of our marriage.

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