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Understand that all that she did, the good and the bad, comprise the totality of this person. Because you were connected to the whole person, you got to experience the good side and the bad side as well.

Sometimes she was wonderful and sometimes she was horrible. His bad side was hurtful, and in the end the bad outweighed the good. This again is a difficult step, in that when you have fond memories of someone or perhaps a painful breakup that you have a hard time making sense of, it’s very hard to not revisit these memories again and again.

Or worse yet, are you in another relationship, still longing for and fantasizing about that one that got away? You let go of a relationship like this by first understanding why you hold on. When your partner in that relationship was at his best, he met all of your needs. If he could have been that way with you 100 percent of the time, rather than just sometimes, you would still be in the relationship. You have trouble letting go because you never succeeded in making your ex fulfill your needs completely and yet you believe you could and should have been able to. The only problem was that she could only treat you well part of the time.

But to let go of someone who is well and alive and possibly still loves you is an incredible task.

This is the one that felt like true love, yet would just not work.

Do you have a relationship like this, one that you still long for?

The ridiculous in me honors the ridiculous in you.” This book is the book I always wanted to read! To enter to win a free copy: Leave a comment describing the most awkward situation you’ve ever experienced or witnessed at work.

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) or even speculating on hypothetical mortifying moments that haven’t even happened but could (a friend and I have spent entire meals laughing about the prospect of embarrassing things that haven’t even happened to us yet).

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